The journey continues.
Today, I sent off my product folio to the school,
documentary photography project in full swing,
slowly making friends with studio lighting,
people and architecture just around the corner. 

Mind and soul still wide open to all that's new,
despite the bouts of insecurity in the back of my head -
time seems to be occupied by a thousand other little things,
although this is by far what matters the most.

And a child of natural light is quite good 
at devising all sorts of other juicy little arguments inside her head,
when people around are eagerly discussing
triggers and drones,
clipping and softboxes... 
Or as I'm about to upgrade my camera 
to the latest fine and dandy model,
but find myself repeatedly typing "film cameras"
in the ebay search field... 

Or when thinking about the future -
what one really wants
and could even get,
by working hard enough, believing in oneself,
networking and not giving up... 
But at the same time feeling so conscious
that life is fragile,
the mind and situations are prone to change,
you never know.

And so you trace back your steps
to here and now,
and the safe haven of knowing that today
the path under one's feet is the right one,
even if it's shrouded in fog.
And that's enough.

Tänään lähetin tuotekuvakansioni koululle,
dokumenttikuvausprojekti täydessä vauhdissa,
studiovalojen kanssa ystävystyn pikkuhiljaa,
ihmiset ja arkkitehtuuri nurkan takana.

Edelleen sielu ja mieli avoinna kaikelle uudelle,
vaikka pään sisällä välillä epävarmuuden ailahduksia -
aika kun meinaa karata tuhanteen muuhun asiaan,
vaikka juuri tämä on nyt tärkeintä ja mielekkäintä.

Ja luonnonvalon lapsihan kehittelee päänsä sisälle
vaikka minkälaisia meheviä ristiriitoja,
kun ympärillä puhutaan triggereistä ja koptereista,
syväyksestä ja softboxeista…
Tai kun tarkoituksena on päivittää kamera uuteen ja uljaaseen,
mutta löytääkin itsensä jälleen kerran näpyttelemästä
ebayn hakusanoiksi ‘film cameras’…

Tai kun miettii tulevaisuutta -
sitä mitä oikeasti haluaa
ja minkä voi saadakin,
jos vain tekee tarpeeksi töitä ja uskoo itseensä,
verkostoituu eikä luovuta…
Mutta samalla sitä muistaa, että elämä on hauras,
 tilanteet ja mieli muuttuvaisia,
koskaan ei voi tietää.

Ja niin sitä palaa takaisin,
tähän hetkeen,
siihen turvasatamaan, että juuri nyt sitä kuitenkin
kävelee oikealla, vaikkakin sumuisella tiellä.
Ja se riittää. 

Texture in last image courtesy of Alice Popkorn

michele said...

mmmmmmm. truth.


Seawashed said...

So lovely. I find your words to be comforting.
The last image is similar to how I am currently painting.
Beauty flowing...
and peaceful.

Rebecca Skye Watson said...

ahhh, well I knew you were a soul sister <3

Rebecca Skye Watson said...

Thanks for always leaving such heartfelt words...
Your painting sounds divine!
(Have to say I so admire people who paint and draw.
Since a young age I always felt there was a conflict
between all the visual ideas I had,
but not being able to get them down on paper.
But glad there's such an invention as a camera around.)
A lovely new week to you sweetie,

Barbara said...

I love the words you've written, especially the last few lines ....
and I wish you all good things as you choose to follow this path; your photos are so beautiful!

Barbara x

Joanna Ulfsdotter said...

Tried to comment here before but something went wrong with Blogger, sigh...:) Thinking a lot about these same things as you know, and you describe it beautifully. There are so many things one *could* do, after all, but which is the *should*...? For me it's been so liberating to leave it up to God and not strive so much of my own accord - just do the work, and work hard indeed, but not go chasing every possible opportunity. Another thing is to recognize when it's fear talking, rather than the genuine gut feeling of a "no, that's not for me". Giving things up, in a manner of speaking, is how they truly become ours...that is my belief, anyway, ♥

Rebecca Skye Watson said...

Thank you ever so much lovely Barbara
- I think not having to know is quite comforting really.

Rebecca Skye Watson said...

So true Joanna...
For a naturally laissez-faire type of person like me
it's also been important to think along the lines
that a bit of effort can be a good thing :)
And needing to carve that space,
as my days get divided in so many directions.
Conscious of different seasons,
the journey itself.
Not to set anything in stone,
but still follow that which feels good and right today,
in baby steps.
Maybe find a bit of discipline along the way :)